These Mountains are Hilly

These Mountains are Hilly

Sammy Hagar told me a long time ago that I can't drive 55. For the last 25 miles of today's first leg of the Rocky Moustache Ride, I was wondering if we would be able to ride 55. Through the multiple training rides this year of 25-40 miles, through the 104 miles in the Horsey Hundred and 100km (62.7 miles) in the Ride Cincinnati, I have ridden the rolling hills of Kentucky in and out of both the Kentucky and Ohio river valleys multiple times to get ready to ride in the Rocky Mountains. The first day was supposed to ease us in with a manageable 55 miles. Everyone kept telling me that "you can't train for the elevation." Today the elevation was a non-factor even though we climbed from 5200 feet (in Denver) to 8601 feet (in Empire, CO).  (Now that is total elevation gain. That does not count every time we descended and had to re-climb those feet to get to our total elevation and the couple hundred feet up to the parking lot of Red Rocks.) No not the elevation today...it was the hills. Both Brennan and I prepared ourselves for a few long climbs, and we thought we knew where all of them were. We did not. First 20 miles were all bike trail coming out of Denver and into the scenic Red Rocks Amphitheater, where Brennan and I hung out, waited for Costello, and rested while all other people there killed themselves working out (that would come later for us).

Knowing that the stretch into Evergreen would be all up hill, we began the slog. Enough cannot be said for knowing how long a hill, in this case 11 miles, and what is waiting for you at the top, in this case lunch. We spent the next hour grinding it out around turns, in and out of the saddle, and trying to enjoy the few downhills and the slight wind at our back. We rocked that hill, and both felt pretty good knowing that the longest hill was out of the way. Lunch - at the Little Bear Saloon - was perfect: bras hanging from the ceiling, suggestive license plates, and people's names carved in the tables, chairs, and walls. No complaints on the food as it fueled us well for the second half of the day. 

Once again, we knew that we had a shorter but steeper climb for about 4-5 miles out of Evergreen. Done. Is this all the Rockies has to offer? It was at this point that my mindset changed. I (foolishly) let myself believe that the last 20 miles would be easy. After another hour, several grueling (shorter and steeper) hills, we reached Idaho Springs. Brennan tried (without much success) to fix shifting issues that plagued him all day long. With 10 miles to go we remounted, and thug raindrops (I am talking the size of water balloons) that we had been running from all day long began to fall, with little pieces of sleet inside to boot. We outran the rain and ran into our last, and completely unexpected, climb of the day. 1100 feet of climb over the last 9.5 miles kicked our tired butts.We rolled into Lewis Sweet Shop in Empire, CO, and there was hospitality and sweet treats waiting for us. As we sat down and chatted with owners Bernie and Peggy, they told us all about their eclectic little restaurant and all the ins and outs of the area. We left full of milkshakes and many options of eateries for dinner as approved by our new friends. 

This was the toughest 55 miles I have ever done. Brennan seconded the sentiment. And I realized that part of what made it so difficult was the climbs. They punished us, no doubt. But the bigger issue was our changed mindset, thinking that those last 10-15-25 miles would somehow be easier was a mistake. We could, and did, ride 55 today, and these mountains are no joke. Heading up over 11,000 feet tomorrow, so I think it safe to say we won't be overlooking anything tomorrow. Time for beer, pizza, sports (watching), and rest.

We're Ba-ack!

We're Ba-ack!

Every year, except for last year and all years before 2009, we set out on an epic journey where the four great elements - man and moustache, bicycle and beer - converge on a geographically random location to test physical endurance and mental fortitude over five grueling days. This year's scientifically chosen (read: throwing dart at map) route will take us through some of the most demanding terrain that we have faced…the Rocky Mountains. We have rollicked through the rolling hills of horses and bourbon distilleries in Kentucky, grinded through the flat and never-ending cornfields and wind farms of Indiana, and braved the heat of the Texas gulf coast and bayou swamps of Louisiana. This year's ride will take us to new heights, literally, as we cross the Continental Divide a few times, and reach altitudes of 12,000 feet. Though the outcome of our bodies acclimation to this physically demanding challenge is unclear, our moustaches are strong as ever, and we will derive power, as did Sampson, from our hair…of the facial variety. So, as you sit in your office, feel free to live vicariously through our pictures, words, and video, and hopefully we can give you enough interesting material that you don't have to do any real work this week. Enjoy!

The End of the Road

It's taken quite a while to recover from this year's ride. That may have something to do with the 3 nights we spent celebrating the ride's end point, New Orleans. It may also have something to do with the 4 friends who met us there. And it may have to do with the multiple "victory laps" we did throughout the French quarter, enjoying the food and spirits that have made it famous (and by famous, I mean infamous). Here's the path we took, to the best of my memory:

THURSDAY

Brennan giggles at a horse. It was probably pissing or pooping in the street.

- Mother's Restaurant

• Soup Nazi-like ordering process
• a strict no-tipping policy
• killer po' boys

- Pat O'Brien's

• cocktails galore (Lighting, Hurricane, New Orleans Gin Fizz)
• random woman walks up to Brennan and says "I don't normally do this...but you are soooooo cute." She then walks away. She didn't even seem that drunk!
• excellent policy that allows you to return your souvenir glass to the bar and get $3 back!

- Lafitte's Blacksmith Shop Bar

• came highly recommended by Mr. Basford
• apparently the oldest building to currently house a bar
• the site of Brennan's first modeling gig

Brennan Basford = the next Zoolander

- Old Absinthe House

• walls covered in business cards...
• ...which Aaron would randomly choose, call, leave a message asking for whatever service they provide, and ask them to call him back at 867-5309
• the first of many places we annoying took over the jukebox (hence Aaron's callback number)

Business cards on the wall? Now I've seen everything!

- some random bar

• can't recall the name, and we were only here for 1 round.....1 round of punching bag video game....which I dominated.....no big deal (it's actually a really big deal)

- Jimani's

• I really wish this place had a website, because it surely would have shown the bar's logo, and old woman flipping off the camera. The original photo is in the bar, which pans out to show the full context...the woman is on her deathbed.
• everyone seemed to have an unspoken agreement to only choose hip hop on the jukebox
• I went with Lupe Fiasco and Jurassic 5

**It's important to note that Jason ended his night by playing chess with street bums. He was unable to find Bobby Fischer, but is confident that they were able to solve world hunger, oppression, and the debt ceiling problem.

FRIDAY

Jason missed the "bad-ass" memo.

- Mother's Restaurant

•  yes, it was so good we went a 2nd time!

- Industry

• went here when Brennan's recommendation (an Irish pub across the street) was closed
• proceeded to hang here so long we had 2 meals (6 hour-long visit)
• the 2nd meal included 4 pitchers of freshly boiled crawfish (one of which bit Brennan's finger before it was boiled to its death...and if you'd heard Brennan complain about the pain, the crawfish went through less pain being boiled alive)

well worth the 6-hour visit

- Finnegan's Easy

• one of the many spots we chose because it was calm and quiet.
• yep. we're definitely 30.
• while enjoying the calm and quiet patio, we got to watch Brandon Phillips do this, after which we were no longer calm and quiet.

- Daquiri place

• Brennan insisted to treating us to frozen drinks...we insisted on singing Boyz II Men. 
• This is what inspired this blog entry's title:

- Harrah's Casino

• 1st ever male bartender at the craps table brought us good luck (and excellent facial hair grooming)

- Jimani's

• pumped more hip hop in the jukebox

SATURDAY

Look closely. Haley and Buzz are mutants!

- Huck Finn's

• I tried alligator...which did not taste like chicken...it tasted like sausage.
• We awaited the arrival of a girl (Brennan's gal Haley)
• The girl would prove to only made our hijinks more ridiculous.

- Napoleon's House

• won our server a contest being held by ordering 16 Abita SOS bottles, which raises money for the Gulf disaster areas.

- Huge Ass Beers

• the name says it all

- Lafitte's Blacksmith Shop Bar

• our 2nd trip to the old joint
• inspired by a certain viral video, we karaoked the sax solo to "Careless Whisper"....twice in 10 minutes....we were not well-liked
• what would be a suitable third song choice? You guessed it: "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go"

Buzz questions Ryan's fist-pumping technique.

After that, Jason and I headed back to the hotel, as we had a long drive back to the Midwest the next morning.

Needless to say, the trip was once again a rousing success on all accounts. The guys tore up the open road on their bikes. We met kind and unique people at every stop. And we were able to celebrate all of the idiocy with great friends.

Contemplating what to ask our Romanian waitress next.

Where will the ride take us next year? Stay tuned....

Day Five: The End Has No End (Brennan's Prophecy)

Start: Deauville Motel in Thibodaux, Louisiana
Lunch: none
Dinner: TBA
End: Hilton Garden Inn in New Orleans, Louisiana
Today's biking distance: 64 miles
Total biking distance: 440 miles



We made it! There were flat tires all day long, and we were greeted at the ferry station by a thunderstorm and an inability to get the car on the ferry. So we had an anticlimactic arrival on a traffic-jammed highway. Not what we envisioned, but hey! We're in the Big Easy!

A more thorough blog will be posted at some time. Until then, check out our Flickr photostream for pictures.

Support Vehicle Music:

The Hold Steady - Boys and Girls In America
The Elected - Sun, Sun, Sun
Modest Mouse - We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank
Spoon - Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga
Girl Talk - All Day
Van Halen - "Panama" (our traditional arrival-to-any-city-with-3-syllables-so-we-can-replace-the-word-'Panama' song)

Day Four: Happy 60th There was Birthday, Gene Weaver!

Start: Budget Inn & Suites in Abbeville, Louisiana
Lunch: Atchafalaya Cafe in Morgan City, Louisiana
Dinner: Pepper's Pizzeria in Thibodaux, Louisiana
End: Deauville Motel in Thibodaux, Louisiana
Today's biking distance: 100 miles
Total biking distance: 376 miles

I'll be honest. This whole "Brennan-and-Jason-kicking-ass-by-doing-another-100-miles-today" thing is wearing me out. I took like 7 pictures today. And most of those pictures were of buildings. Buildings we ate food in. I don't even think I took a picture of Brennan today.

Today was another excellent day. Though the guys had to wait out quite a bit of rain, they were able to tackle 100 miles for the 2nd day in a row, something unprecedented when  it comes to moustache rides (come to think of it, are moustache rides in and of themselves unprecedented?). There was quite a bit of rain, which caused the guys to take a couple extra breaks that they normally would have powered through. But this turned out to be a good thing for two reasons: (#1) it gave them some much needed rest, considering the fatigue still affecting them from yesterday and (#2) they got to hang out at their 2nd hip-hop-celebrity-named convenience store -- Nelly's!

100% genuine Louisiana rain! And lots of it!

The other main highlight was on my side of things: our usual routine after lunch each day involves me driving to the town we plan to stop and finding a place to stay for the night. I've blogged about the strategy involved in this previously, but honestly, there are quite a few more readers this year, so I feel like running through our philosophy won't be wasted.

Getting an inexpensive motel has very little to do with bartering skills (which I'm notoriously bad at) and more to do with scouting. Chain h/motels are always bad news. They have set prices and because they are connected to online services like Priceline and Orbitz, they have no need to cater to your needs. The key is finding the independent motel on the outskirts of town. As I've said before, the shadier the motel looks, the better it actually is. And this year, we got better and better at this as the week went by. For our motel rooms, we paid, in this order $80, $70, $60, and finally, $50. Take that, Rachel Ray! (full disclosure...I'm not sure what Rachel Ray does, or if calling her out while discussing motel costs is even applicable).

Tent revival! Halleluiah!!

Well, we're less than 70 miles from New Orleans, so our attention and anticipation is focused on tomorrow, when Brennan and Jason will ride their bikes into the Big Easy!

We aim to be in New Orleans by early afternoon. Brennan and Jason are leaning towards taking the ferry into town. I may join them. Or I may set up on Bourbon Street somewhere to take pictures of their triumphant arrival. Either way, it'll be a glorious day when we arrive on Bourbon Street and celebrate with the rest of the crew (Dave, Aaron, Justin, and Buzz, you're moustaches better be on point. On point, I say!). And while I will try my best to get a quick blog posted tomorrow, it's more likely that I'll post the final blog after our weekend celebration in the Big Easy. You'll just have to occupy yourself with Perez Hilton or something.


Support Vehicle Music:

The Jayhawks - Rainy Day Music (in a failed attempt to keep the rain away)
Arcade Fire - The Suburbs (in a failed attempt to make this trip Grammy-worthy)
LCD Soundsystem - This Is Happening (in a failed attempt to be hip)

No Gators Still

Kind of bummed. Four days on the ride, three of which have been in Louisiana and still no alligator sightings. We want some gators on this trip. Not chasing us, like the multiple dogs we've outrun, but just close to the road, so I can say that we passed some gators.

The week has flown by in terms of days, although parts of the ride have been a real grind. Today, we had most things working in our favor (save the hour rain delay), and once again the miles (all hundred of them) ticked away and Thibodeaux was upon us before we knew it. Today was like an episode of Captain Planet - we had earth (Brennan falling over on his bike into the ground), fire (natural gas plants spewing flames out of their discharge spouts), wind (mostly at our back but a little in our faces at the end), and water (a rainstorm that poured on us and delayed us nearly an hour). All in all a great day.

Reaching New Orleans may be a little bittersweet, but I think Bourbon Street will assuage any of those bitter feelings...especially if there is a place where we can see a live gator.

Day Three: Today Was a Good Day

Start: Microtel in Sulphur,Louisiana
Lunch: C'est Bon in Mermentau, Louisiana
Dinner: Dupuy's Oyster Shop in Abbeville, Louisiana
End: Budget Inn & Suites in Abbeville, Louisiana
Today's biking distance: 106 miles
Total biking distance: 276 miles

Today will live forever. You will always remember where you were when you read this blog entry. In the meager 3-year storied illustrious history of the Moustache Ride, the record for most miles ridden in a day was an even century, 100. And today, our estimates put the boys right at that mark.

But with all of our bad luck behind us, Brennan and Jason dominated the roads today. When they pulled into the motel in Abbeville, LA, Brennan's odometer was a sight to behold:

106.35 miles. It's a new moustache record!

And you wanna know what's crazy?

Do you?

I don't think you do.

Alright, you convinced me. Here's what's crazy...

Tomorrow they're gonna do it again. That's right. Back-to-back century club days!

Luckily, they'll be well-fueled, as we just finished our best meal of the trip. Usually, after the guys have cleaned up, we take a few laps around whatever town we're in and choose the most local-looking place to eat. At first, Abbeville seemed to have slim pickings when it came to eateries. Mexican joints, a Chinese restaurant (whose logo was a panda petting another panda), and of course, Chili's. But in downtown Abbeville, we found the gem:

Dupuy's Oyster Shop, as you'll see from their website, opened in 1869. To stay open that long requires excellence. And excellence came in the form of a dynamite Tuesday night special of surf n turf. Jason and I went that route, and Brennan went with the crawfish etouffee. All of it was outstanding. So to our dozen thousands of readers, if you ever find yourself in Abbeville, LA, you now know where to go for a top-notch meal.





Aside from that, the ride itself was fairly uneventful, which seems to be a good thing when it comes to riding your bike across the country. I'm sure Jason will give the rider's perspective of this record-breaking day in his blog entry. So I'll just close with some extra pictures, though, as always, you can see all the pics at our Flickr photostream.

Faster than a (parked) train!

After 106 miles, they lost control of their faces.

A cheat sheet?! What a bunch of cheaters! 106.35 should have an asterisk.

And for future reference, you can usually assess how easy/difficult our day was by the amount of music played in the support vehicle. Today only took 3 albums. Today was a good day.



Support Vehicle Music:

Fountains of Wayne - Utopia Parkway
Kanye West - My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy
Everything, Now! - Police, Police