Day Five: Three Classic 'Staches

Day Five
Starting Point: Old Kentucky Home Motel in Bardstown, KY
End Point: Bardstown Road in Louisville, KY
Today's Total: 54 miles

Total Distance For the Trip: 325 miles

This blog will have to be without pictures....for now. I'm back in Indy, and the camera is in Louisville with two moustachioed bicyclists!

Albums I Listened To Today"

My Morning Jacket - Z
My Morning Jacket - Evil Urges
- I mean, come on, I was headed to Louisville!

But I digress. Today was a bit rough because the guys had to ride some heavily traveled roads. That translates into semis driving by them at an arm's length distance. And rumble strips apparently aren't easy on the...well....let's not talk about that.

Still, they made it to Bardstown Road (aka hipster central) around 1:30 pm. We celebrated by finishing the last three High Lifes from the cooler. Some lady who was eating lunch in her car (weird, I know) watched us try to set the timer on Brennan's camera to take a picture, then finally found us funny enough to help us out. And some random old guy tried to jump in the picture as well. I guess our moustaches were more inviting that we anticipated.

Over the next few days, I'll keep adding pics (I actually added more to the previous posts, so scroll all the way down), keep adding detail, and hopefully get the pics from Day Five sometime next week.

Stay tuned for final thoughts all next week!

Day Four: "Adobe. Can Y'all Say That With Me?"

Apologies, everyone. The weak wireless signals are continuing to mess with my ability to post pictures. I'll focus on text for now.

Day Four
Starting Point: Holiday Motel in Berea, KY
End Point: Old Kentucky Home Motel in Bardstown, KY
Today's Distance: 81 miles
Total Distance So Far: 271 miles

Albums I Listened To Today:

Sufjan Stevens - Greetings From Michigan
The Frames - The Cost
The Go! Team - Thunder Lightning Strike
Weezer - The Red Album
Matt & Kim - Grand

Lots to say about today. The guys killed it, doing 81 miles. I think their motivation was the end point for the ride, which was the Maker's Mark Distillery.

More on that later. I'm gonna try to find a better signal.

Alright. I guess it’ll have to be an all-text blog entry.

So last night, the guys got their bags packed for the next day, because they knew they had a long haul ahead of them. 6:15 wake-up call as usual, but they were on the road quickly. I hung back and packed the car.

Today was the 1st time the guys beat me to the lunch stop (Harrodsburg). They flew. It was like 10am. The Subway girls were quite the pranksters, locking their manager out (and in the process, locking us in). In the meantime, we discussed Family Matters (the tv show, not actual family matters. This is why capitalization is important).

After lunch, I drove ahead and quickly got to Bardstown, our stop for the evening. I booked us a room at the Old Kentucky Home Motel.

A side note: Of the many great lessons I’ve learned this trip, here’s the most substantial: the shadier the motel looks, the better it actually is. Here’s why:
o It’s usually run by a family, so the employees enjoy working there, and usually include a kind motherly figure
o They have incredibly low prices, not because they’re crappy, but because they have to compete against the big dogs, who get online bookings.
o They’re willing to haggle, again, because of the big dogs unwillingness to do so.
o They have to actually try in order to get people to stay there, so everything’s really clean
o They have character. This last one smelled like your grandma’s house. Yes, you specifically.

Anyway, I unloaded all the gear, because I was going to meet Brennan and Jason at the Maker’s Mark Distillery. They took the back roads there so they could show off their skin-tight outfits. They arrived just in time for the final tour of the day.

Mindy was our tour guide. She had some hilarious jokes about how hot it was in the buildings. She also said “ideal” instead of idea. Charming. Oh, and the title of this day's blog is loosely related to our experience with Mindy. It's a quote from a movie. Does anyone recognize it?

Let's make this a trivia question:

From what movie does this day's blog entry come? Bonus points if your answer includes another quote from the film. Even more bonus points if your answer includes a quote from the same scene.

Place your guesses in the comments. The answer tomorrow (no googling or cha-cha-ing, kids).

We started in the bottling room, because they were about to clock out for the day. There’s only one bottling line for the entire distillery. That surprised me. Didn’t it surprise you?



Then we got to stick our finger in the barrels as the corn (70%, mind you), fermented. That’s right, that Maker’s Mark you’re going to drink 6 or 7 years from now had our fingers in it. Deal with it.



































At the end of the tour, we got to have two mini-snifters of bourbon. One was 130 proof (what it’s like after the first of two distillings….is distillings a word?), and the other was 110 proof (what you get when you guy a bottle).

So that was cool. Then we got back to the motel, had dinner at Mammy’s Kitchen. You know what I’m talking about. Meat loaf. Hot Brown. Good stuff. Then it was poolside at the Old Kentucky Home until dark.

Tomorrow, we’ve got 40 miles to Louisville…..and we all just shaved ourselves into classic moustaches.

Many pictures to come.

Day Three: The Holy Grail

Day Three
Starting Point: Abner's Motel in Stanton, KY
End Point: Holiday Motel in Berea, KY
Today's Distance: 52 miles
Total Distance So Far: 190 miles

As with every morning, Brennan started the day by seducing the camera.

As with every morning, it didn't work.

Other than the first bit, today's route was a bit flatter than Brennan and Jason had seen thus far. Still, riding around Daniel Boone National Park is pretty as a picture. This picture, in fact:


The guys were flying, so we took our "lunch" at 10am in the Estill Park Library parking lot.

And the guys finished their trek around 1pm at Berea College. I was being all college-y, reading Heart of Darkness under a tree (my AP students best watch out!).




From there, Jason haggled his way to a cheap rate at the Holiday Motel (apparently the sketchier the motel looks on the outside, the better it is on the inside). We got cleaned up, and then drove to Richmond for a few brews.

We quickly found The Paddy Wagon, an Irish Pub that was having a Monty Python beer special (we got a sweet chalice...pics of that tomorrow maybe). But, in honor of the beer, and our trip, please enjoy this:



As for me, today I listened to:

Phantom Planet - The Guest
Kaiser Chiefs - Off With Their Heads
Tom Waits - Alice
- he sounds like Fozzy Bear...I have no clue why I picked him
Sufjan Stevens - Enjoy the Rabbit

And, unfortunately, my plans for recording songs each day has been unsuccessful, for a variety of technological issues I won't bother you with.

No, I refuse to allow you to be bothered.

But I had a back-up plan. Today was going to fulfill Buzz' request from the beginning of the week for a cover of Queen's "Bicycle Race." Sadly, this will have to do:



More pics from Day Three (I plan to get a slide show of ALL our pics soon):

Sorry. Apparently they didn't load. Whoops, I say. Whoops.












Tomorrow we head to Bardstown.....and the Maker's Mark Distillery!

Day Two: Technical Difficulties (Internet and Alcohol)

Sorry for the delay. No wireless internet service yesterday. Very little cell phone service yesterday. Stopped for the night in a dry county. We just couldn't win.

But I'm currently in the Estill County Public Library parking lot, mooching off of their signal, so I should be able to post yesterday's recap within the hour.

I'm just glad we didn't lose any followers. Still 12 strong!

OK, so...

Day Two
Starting Point: Super 8 in Morehead (hee hee), KY
Ending Point: Abner Motel in Stanton, KY
Today’s Distance: 58 miles
Total Distance So Far: 138 miles

Started the day off with some light stretching in the Super 8 parking lot.



Albums listened to:

Ryan Adams – Cold Roses
- his high productivity in the studio has always prevented me from listening to him. I don’t know where to start. But if he’s good enough for Mandy, I guess I should give him a chance

Mates of State – Bring It Back
- I’ve been on a couples band kick lately (Matt & Kim, She & Him, Wu & Tang), but this sounded way too much like Nintendo video games for my taste

The Apples in Stereo – Velocity of Sound
- I love this band. So does Colbert.

Ben Kweller – Changing Horses
- Ben tries country. I’m undecided.

Lots of hills (or is it hillz?) for the boys (or is it boyz?) today. Especially in the first half of the day.

I lost my cell phone signal for most of the day, and cried hysterically until I found the guys at a Subway in Frenchburg. More stretching here.


Today, I drove most of the route the guys took too, and came across the church from Kill Bill?


There was a tunnel that only allowed one car at a time. Jason fell down just before going in (the damage to his back is shown in the first pic on this blog entry). And once again, I was waiting for a flying DeLorean to show up.




I booked us a sweet room at the Abner Motel in Stanton, KY.

Due to the Abner Motel’s shotty wireless internet, I wasn’t able to get a GREAT MOUSTACHES IN ROCK HISTORY song recorded (plus, I was too busy crying right along with Brooke Shields and Ursher). But today I had planned on a non-moustache song anyway. In honor of the Bluegrass State (and the fact that my Blu Blockers change the grass color from green to blue), I wanted to cover Bill Monroe’s Blue Moon of Kentucky. But, another pale fellow has performed a ripping cover before, so I’ll let him do the honors.

Conan O'Brien - Blue Moon (Live on Conan 01.04.2008)
Uploaded by nono_the_bean. - Click for more funny videos.

We drove about 30 minutes to a county that wasn’t dry….then were too tired to drink the beer.

I shaved my third style of moustache in three days (did I mention I would have a different moustache each day? More pics on that later).

Brennan ordered a two-person meal at La Finca…and ate about one person’s worth.

Here's some more pics from Day Two:

Day One: Boners In Bike Shorts (or Boners 'N Bike Shorts)

UPDATED WITH NEW PICS AT BOTTOM


Starting Point: Jason's house in Lexington, KY
End Point: Super 8 in Morehead, KY
Total Distance: 80 miles (here's a map of the route they took)



We took off at 7:06am this morning (a slight delay due to Behler's need for sun screen). And things got off to a smooth start.

By smooth start, I mean Brennan popped a tire while still in the Lexington city limits.




Once we got that sorted out, the sailing was truly smooth. Here's the equipment we're working with:

Brennan: Specialized Allez Elite
Jason: Schwinn Varsity (no basket)
Ryan: Brennan's Mazda 3 2.3


Let's get the most important info out of the way. Here are the albums I listened to while driving:

Grizzly Bear - Veckatimest
Grampall Jookabox - Ropechain
Fleet Foxes - Fleet Foxes
The Dirty Projectors - Bitte Orca
The Decemberists - The Hazards of Love

Can you tell I was going backwards in my iPod?

Oh, and I ran across a drive-in theater. I've never been to one before. Now I have. I was waiting for a DeLorean to crash into me.


But let's get back to the real heroes of this trip. Today was their 2nd longest day in terms of distance, a crisp 80 miles.

Jason "We eased into the week in terms of elevation, not many hills, but today was our 2nd longest day in terms of distance." Jason also used the word arduous in his description of the day. English teacher, what?!



Brennan: "I feel like I rode 80 miles on a bike today." I think that means he's tired. He also reported about 5 dogs chasing after them, but most would stay in their yards. Except one. This little wind-up toy mutt charged Brennan from its porch, but sort of forgot about the drop. In Jason's words, "that dog beefed it."

We stopped in Mt. Sterling for lunch, at a joint called Terry and Kathy's on Main, per recommendation of our new friend, McCormick.


Here's the deal with McCormick. He introduces himself by last name only. No first name. Not even a hello. Just a "McCormick." He claims that never does a biker go through Mt. Sterling that he doesn't know about. He told us where to eat, and it was the same place he was having lunch. He gave us some tips on our route, and wished us well the rest of the way. I predict he will show up at every little town we go to, like Jacob in LOST.

And now, for today's installment of GREAT MOUSTACHES IN MUSIC HISTORY!

My computer memory is being fidgety, so I've had to adapt my plan and record mini-versions of songs. But that's probably best for everyone. Today's featured artist is Hall & Oates. Oates has the 'stache. Hall looks like Conan O'Brien.

Anyway, once I got to the hotel (which, by the way, we are the only residents of...I think we'll go ghost hunting later), I hunkered down in the room until I had recorded a minute-long version of "Private Eyes." You can access it at my (imaginary) band's myspace page, Kelly and the Ripas.



I may try to add some more pics later tonight, when the little bikers are getting their beauty sleep. But first, they have to plan tomorrow's route...